Triggers

When I came back from the prison

I brought all the chains with me

took all these years to shake those words off

Things hidden just resurface when triggers are pulled

and little battles come back ready to be fought

baby be enough

baby be more

baby so funny when she tries to allure

baby just thinks too much

just don’t understand

the needs the needs of a man

And when I came home

I brought all that baggage
repacked the memories

and I had the advantage
things written on paper
somewhere hidden about sadness

nothing like laying next to someone

who just can’t be pleased
nothing like carrying the weight
of someone with no dreams

and baby it’s not enough

baby what do you know

baby sometimes its gotta be rough
cant be so close all the time

who cares about the rain
and who cares about the lines

baby its not enough

but baby its just too much
baby a man needs variety but..

red isn’t really you color baby

and when I woke up as a live wire

You know you ain’t no lady
I took out that gun

you take things to serious

for the last pulled trigger
you’re so cute when you try to be mysterious

and threw it into the sun
Some women like it like that

When I woke up I just realized
open your eyes dammit
it was never even my fight

forgiveness and forgetting

such a beautiful things

because baby came alive

yeah now baby got her wings

Three signs of soft solidarity at the dawn of the last Columbus Day

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Originally posted on ghost ride the whip!:

Just in time for Monday’s federal holiday, Seattle decided to celebrate something else, joining Minneapolis at big US cities to get this right by re-naming the holiday “Coast Salish Day” and Indigenous People’s Day, respectively. Are we more surprised by cities making this move or that more haven’t yet? How is this still a thing?

After all, aside from the catastrophic results of contact for 10’s of millions of natives, didn’t Colon basically start a trend of “discovering” things for white people? If you need another funny video to keep you engaged – check out College Humor’s take on “Columbusing.”

If you are moved to make steps towards healing our land and people, you might be moving toward solidarity. Particularly for white liberals – especially Evangelical Christians – solidarity is becoming more normative, at least in theory. It takes a lot of work to move solidarity from…

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The Very Inspiring Blogger Award

So…I was nominated by Regarding Samuel’s Blog which is an awesome blog of every creative genre, so go check it out. I appreciate the nomination.
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The rules of this award are the following :

Thank the person who nominated you and add a link to their blog.
Display the award on your post.
List the award rules so your nominees will know what to do.
State 7 things about yourself.
Nominate 15 other bloggers for the award.
Contact your nominees to let them know you have nominated them. Provide a link to your post.
In appreciation display the award logo (or buttons) on your blog.

1. I come from a large homeschooling family and I remember hearing from the general population that I might not learn “sociable” skills. You know..because I didn’t have “click” pressures or a prom.

2. I’m a bartender…kinda debunks the above “issue” doesn’t it?
3. I graduated from a Bible College in Ohio…Ohio is a completely different world from the Georgia/Alabama/Tennessee worlds I grew up in. It was a good time though. I now have friends all over the U.S. from that experience.

4. I feel things deeply, and that is why I write. Those things have to be expressed…otherwise I might have an illness from all the oppressing apathy around me.

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5. Speaking of social, the majority of my time is at work and half of the other time is catching up on homework for the degree I am working on through an online program….so now that I think of it …I may not be that social after all..haha (but neither are you).

6. When people first meet me they think I am: a. mean b. conceited or c. miserable and depressed. I’m not those things, and so both parties are always surprised.

7. I have a real weakness for record/book stores, and Indian food (curry…korma…don’t even get me started),coffee..and white wine…oh my…oh yes and procrastinating…yeah that is a problem.

Bonus* All my younger siblings are creative in some fashion. I think that is a special thing.

I am following the rules by nominating other blogs…but I humbly say I cannot think of fifteen.

My girl Allie Once Upon A Page

An interesting persons’ blog (Irreducible Primary)

Eye Will Not Cry 

American Elephants

The Daily Write

A horror movie buffs well written critiques

And my genius brother (Regarding Samuel)

Can’t Imagine

Nothing going on but the wind
And nothing going up but the rent
Hey those lines and cliches
Know how to take their place
All the things that inform
Numb the apathy
Here I am missing you
Missing me
Minds going going gone
Trying to feel some words
And write some songs
Like
New bare walls
I should put something there
But I like the way bare walls feel sometimes
Looks like space it feels like time
Time is there ever enough time
Feeling time slipping sometimes
I can’t imagine why
Feeling feelings and I
can’t imagine why
Acute senses of serene
Bare walls let them in
Alert dreams of dreams
I see you in
Feeling feelings
I can’t imagine why

Dreamer Woman

Inside the alone
feeling like another planet

must be something in the song she wrote

feeling the feelings you aren’t supposed to feel

feeling things so deep

so deep you wonder if they’re real

and when the wind came

she prayed it would blow this house down

and when the rain fell

she prayed it would take her

and drown these thoughts out

sitting in the doorway
because he’s coming home again

and all that space she made

just gets crowded crowded with him

and the pulls and pain

the needs get needed again

and somewhere a voice cries

somewhere its deep inside

comes out in water sometimes
water silently from her eyes

and in cold hard surfaces of the mind

maybe one day she wont hear it

and she wont even recognize

her own self

like the mirror she resembles

in this hell nobody escapes

the kind you make with your own keys

the kind it takes a special kind to get free

but she was a dreamer child

and this dreamer woman

cant dream herself out of the mess

and when the wind came

she prayed it would take this house out

and when the rain came

she prayed it would drown these voices out

then no one could say she never tried

no one could say she wasn’t in the right

in these cold walls and all their echoing voids
voids that take in all this noise

and that voice in the cry

that she scared one day she wont recognize

as her own

like the mirror that she looks

and resembles somewhere

she used to dance and sing

where this dreamer used to dream

I’m Not Broken

We women we aren’t so broken
though they make us think so
and we aren’t under siege
or maybe until we let ourselves be
and nobody tells me how I’m me
and no one tells me how I should see
We women cry with those women feelings
but shouldn’t we
someone has to
someone has to
and God made woman
said woman was a good thing
and Adam didnt have to chase that woman
all over creation
so God didn’t make me a problem
who told us we were naked
and who screwed up our relationship
and who put a hatchet in our communication
I guess someone had to
someone had to
building up walls to conserve said images
any image will do
the strong one
the faithful one
the independent one
the thriving one
they just take mine and give me theirs
all those definitions and choices
they just define my barriers and
and insert their voices
and I cant compete with a multitude
out to fight shadows of their own making
can’t trade off for whatever the hell they’re taking
and it’s passing bucks and passing blame
it’s his fault
just like the beginning and he takes the blame
and they define and think they are different
well from here it looks the same

By What I See

At this my body is racked with pain, pangs seize me, like those of a woman in labor; I am staggered by what I hear, I am bewildered by what I see. Isaiah 26:17

Trying to see through blood

bleeding trying to see through the blind
seeing what the here and now is
or feeling the coming travail
and looking back on all the ways
all the ways we failed

the brand new happening

the new colonizing efforts

here and there and there its here

its here its here

but look over there and fear
and the decade of the boy that cried wolf

and we got used to the alarms
and now the same efforts and same strong arms

and we called the fake but in the blind spot

there were so many crimes

and its here its here over there its here

but its hidden in the objective blind
while the sheep peddled

and while the sheep were asleep

the boy that cried wolf got eaten

and its too late for that alarm to even sound

when the wolves are right there on the ground
The earth cries out and we feel it in the body

and the body cries out

and the earth feel it too
but look over there

over there like its not happening to you

beheading in the U.S.

Tennessee Imam

The U.S. armed and funded what is now ISIS for their own purposes. They ignored them while they purged Iraq of christian communities that have been there for hundreds of years… it is easy to be upset when we see blue screen statement beheadings all over our newsfeeds though, and we saw them repeatedly until the world is ready to go into another war. The fact is though, Europe has been divided into Shariah factions and “no go” zones for their own law enforcement. The same things are happening here, yet we can’t talk about it and the mainstream corporate media ignores it. It is fashionable to make fun of God and Christians but here on the ground don’t say anything against Islam..yet we are to be upset and afraid of what is happening overseas and start a war ..yet again…”before it hits here”. It’s already here. The ruling class has an agenda, and be it the tools of Islam or be it forced race wars between people who would be friends, or be a forced victim ideology where no one can be objective they can only silence each other…they are bent on change. America is gutted and falling in on itself. Don’t be fooled and don’t be played.

 For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will mislead many. 6“You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end. 7“For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes. Matthew 24:6

“And the nations were angry and your anger has come, and the time of the dead to be judged…and the Prophets and to T and to those who reverence your name, to the small with the great, and you shall destroy those who have corrupted The Earth.”(Revelation 11:18

“For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. For now we see but a poor reflection as in mirror. Then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” I Corinthians 9-12

The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them. Isaiah 11:6