I was trying to get to you
but someone shut the doors

I was trying to find you
but you flew away

I was dreaming I was crying
funny how it all goes back to dreams
more real than reality
or what reality is willing to believe

I was trying to hold you
knowing at sometime you would leave

I was trying to keep you
but some things cant really be kept

so I dreamed for you
and kept a window open

instead

'Sitting at an open window that night...'. Kirdyanov Denis

Painting by Kirdyanov Denis

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Saying Things

I had some thoughts and they got crowded
to the fringes of someone else’s words
I had some highlighted convictions
that got misrepresented
in someone else’s worlds
Had some statements
but others had their claims

oh why do we spin our wheels

and think we’ll ride somewhere

why do we make our speeches
about sentiments not shared

what makes the heart beat and feet stand

on grounds about to be taken

and our passions ignite for people

that would rise and stone us

maybe saying things that got to be said

when they aren’t the norm anymore

saying things that must be said

when they’ll get twisted
saying things because the time to say them is leaving
and what else are poets for

if they are to tired or scared

to say things.

Lace and Wine

Wearing expensive lace
and drinking cheap wine

and wishing I still smoked

sometimes I have to cut off

and let my mind go

everything just gets too heavy

too heavy to carry
and the battles are too numerous to fight
Its too easy to run
but then everyone has their own stands
so no use in talking this out
everyone has their senses pre programmed.

So sometimes when feeling gets too tough
when I’m watching the world burn
and I’m not sure which match is gonna do us in

wearing expensive lace

and drinking cheap wine

wishing I still smoked

and praying I did something right

Neon Goddess

Sometimes I wake up in a nightmare

of reality that someone else dreamed

someones version of utopia

and their definition of reality
and the pinnacle of being a woman
really isnt being a woman at all

it’s being everything they hate about men

and being free don’t mean nothing
except the freedom to think like them
and make the sacrifices only a female can make
on the alter of the neon goddess

drink their own blood

and callous their own hearts
nothing in their eyes

but judgement for dissenters
and in the alter of the neon goddess
she requires you lay down for strangers

in the name of reclaiming what you didn’t know you lost
and then make them pay for your passage

and you can be free just not with the male enemy
and if you do you better cut out his fruit
but if the blind is leading
then the blind just follows

wearing veils of thin and shallow laughter
coarse arguments about nothing more than politics
that they learned to give their life for
breaking down parts of their soul

on the alter of the neon goddess

Be the right kind of woman
defend the right kind of woman
and free your sex
but not your love

and not for a man
like a slave maiden in the courts of Aphrodite
prostituting in the temple
for a success that never comes

maybe men used to hold us down

but now the women limit our view
but its just so much easier to keep blaming you
don’t be fooled by the twisted visions

supplied by spin sisters
who sold their souls to some neon goddess
trying to become great
and trying to make us all pay