Undressed

I’m so tired
here at the end of this year
this year of mourning

denied and repressed

until I cried alone

and alone I undressed

I’m so tired
the end of this year of failed starts
classes that were endured
in a high healing smoke
friends and family  that isolate me
in their righteous fist waving
look me in the face and call me those names

I guess the more we try to prove

the more we stay the same
becoming what we hate
and the hate just breeds more hate
and accuses the other of the same
and it just gets louder
until alone you cry
and alone you get dressed

and we can put on faces
and we can take up causes
but in that mirror of our anger

we still face the last laugh
in our sad but true nakedness

as we raise our righteous fists
and rot in our pride

and hang ourselves on our lies

I’m so tired
tired of these petty sins

that get shoved in our faces again and again

give me my pipe and my paper
and let me see my friends

take your arguments
for they will always be there

take your words that cut

because one day you’ll see the people in between the lines

take all the support only love could give

and then slap me with the time that remains

like some kind of retrograde

take all the support and use it like a soapbox

point your finger and preach
yes…because we become what we hate
and eventually hate what we become

and one day you will be alone

while you are coming undone

and I’m tired

at the end of the year of transitions
I didn’t even get to welcome the change
since all the anti shame warriors then felt the need to shame
so go get on your soap box and leave me be
hand me my pipe and free the weed

because in this circle the real life doers are still getting along

understanding life and love and peace

and we don’t put on faces
and we don’t take up causes
that mirror nothing but the oppressor

and we know who has the last laugh
on the last days of all of our age

when we mirror what we hated

when we face what we run from

when we undress
alone

 

 

 

 

 

The banker mans been callin

and I don’t care

The bills are behind

I don’t care

and hey there is another shooting

and they are taking more of our money away

and I know I should

but I just don’t

call me apathetic

as I look at the overload

of all the senses

and I just shut down somewhere

somewhere

it happened so fast

I pray and pray

smile for the season

and play the role I play

but at the end of the day

come home to big mess

just a big mess and I look around and
I don’t care

people call and unload their many pains

and I listen and say things I’ve always said

look at my many books

taking up spaces and I’ve never read

finally understanding pyromaniacs
maybe one day they just didn’t care

I’m not angry

too much of that going around

I just dont care

 

 

Some thoughts

I don’t ask questions about God
to people who blame Him

and I don’t ask questions about life

to people who take life for granted

I just try to emanate , to radiate
and somehow remind us to appreciate

there’s much to be angry about

yet too many angry people

martyrs for their own causes

both the God honoring and the godless

love to nail themselves down
love to point and scream

and hear their sounds

no thoughts are original

especially in today’s days

you look back far enough
everyone is plagiarizing
today’s philosopher’s
never looked up their forefathers

and we all see through today’s lens
and nothing else matters except today’s pretends

and so I don’t take

answers from people who don’t understand questions
and who have nothing but their own anger
to distribute to this generation

this generation with nothing but void to fill
this generation looking for anything
anything to give it will

and pushing the schism
and making us a “them”

I don’t ask questions about life
to those who take life for granted
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When’s the last time

watching as all of us spectators
listening to the agitators
and talking heads
leading a nation by hashtags
and social media campaigns
makes you wonder sometimes
when was the last time you heard your own voice
when it wasn’t repeating someonelses misery
aggravations or offenses
watching like a spectator
same things done every other decade and just gets louder
and makes less sense
nothing left to do so they just make up new ways to do it
and be careful not to judge them while they judge you
and bring you to court for the things you dont want to do
twisted words of love
now twisted the meaning of hate
words are just like everything else these days
subjectective and transparent and conducive to its speaker
makes you wonder sometimes
when was the last time we laughed
and was genuinely grateful
or did we get so blind on some kicks we weren’t getting
and so angry wanting someone to pay
and now the price is to high
and everyone is broke
made all these concessions trying to keep peace
but they still build fires
still make cases
still make speeches
and
cling to you like a vampires and leeches
makes you wonder sometimes
when was the last time we heard quiet.

Sleeper Cells

The sleeper cells
sleep walking
in the halls of hell
where bitterness and hate breed
ancient old sleepers
be careful what you say
be careful what you’re told
we’re dealing with blood lines
drumming up old arguments
for the new excuses
old painful memories
for new forms of abuses
and the children of the children of the children who knew better
well they get the punishment for ages old sins
in the brand new chains of brand new religions
and blasphemies
against godless and headless horsemen
that carry these  ancient sleepers
called out for evil has its day
and the dancing demons
parade in their new laughing game of confusions
narcissism and murder
mesh and make a union
and that blood conception knows no
boundaries
since the saints stopped praying
no lines drawn
and everyone can pass
and everyone’s to blame
everyone is blind
everyone insane
in the brand new chains
of brand new religions
against godless and headless horseman
carrying ancient sleepers

burning water

Heard someone saying 

That They were real
But their real was just rude
Masking hollow faces
Angst and jest filled truths
All wrapped up in details
And projected strengths
Never knowing sometimes
 strength need not be seen
And we keep setting games
And circular rides
Of victims and blames
Self superiority entitled
Blinded by our own light
Arguments and lies
Disguising need with
I tried I tried I tried
Defeated in our own battle lines
Someone said they were real
What’s real these days
Still waters run deep
But tidal waves destroy
Either we are the show
Or the show we want to avoid
Someone being real
Real with no sincerity
Boiling and blowing steam
Just burning water
Burning water
And burning out the dream

Mourning

Mourning sadness in the dark

sadness in the morning

angers and frustrated

pitting the loyal called love

and the justified hated

Mourning

such mourning

for losses not gone yet

the crack in the Liberty bell

she got soldered

and repaired

and we forgot to be grateful

and became self loathing waiting for anyone to come

give us the rape we

so believe we deserve

yeah the beating

we were so waiting on

Forget bridges

we are tolerant

forget self respect

man we got pride

and just like in the garden
we don’t know who we are

and we go run and hide

and just keep hiding

behind our golden calf

and philosophical answers
and self redeemed reasoning

the objective objectify what they dont want to hear

or make arguments for what they dont like

and the subjective just cover their ears

and give to anyone anyone

to ease their fears

just for a minute
make that concession

make that sell of your soul

and maybe they wont kill you

when the great rape comes here
whore of Babylon

sold her people out

and the crack in the liberty bell
it got soldered
and repaired
all the while we are getting prepped

and mentally prepared

and we forgot to be grateful

became self loathing

waiting for anyone to come

give us the rape we

so believe we deserve

And because of the abundance of evil, the love of many will grow cold (Matthew 24:12)

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