Yellow Butterfly/A true story

That love of mine

he loved the butterflies

floating off to the other side

that love of mine

was trying so hard

to get his wings

and in the months later

I kept asking why
why my love wouldn’t tell me bye

was there nothing for me
and I kept looking for my butterflies

that love of mine

Walking along the side

and there was this yellow butterfly

working its way across the concrete

crippling along it’s way

I let him in my hand
and cried about what to do

where to place him for his quiet struggle

and like a miracle he took off

in some beautiful flight

oh… I remembered

and laughed for the free light

of those yellow wings

that love of mine

he loved butterflies

and talked about the next turn

the next life

the next flight

and so my love flew

but not before being in my hand
and thanking me

for the lift

on the next flight…

 

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Keep Your Alive

Taking time and time taking me

clinging so hard to what just wants to be free

knew I couldn’t hold on forever

but we’re never ready to let go

even when we say we are

even when we plan the parting

So I opened gifts given by associations

and sat in the shadows cast by memories

felt sparkles filling those hollows

like the feelings diamonds have

when the light hits their faces

That burning and life says

keep your alive, alive

keep your shine, shining

see that, see that

that power in you

that sparkle that sparkles

its so so sweet

where magic and intentions

something about being alive and just being meet.

Sitting in the leftover of eternal memory

Feeling the gifts that memories bring

hearing anecdotes and inflections

of voices and conversations

bringing at the right moments

lessons and times

that were yours and were mine

no matter what the explanations

no matter the write offs

or miscommunication

some things can’t be undone

and some things shouldn’t be

Remembering the sparkle

starts to shine in the void

like the feelings diamonds have

when the light hits their faces

That burning and life says

keep your alive, alive

keep your shine, shining

see that, see that

that power in you

that sparkle that sparkles

its so so sweet

it’s yours to keep

 

sparkle

Run

and She woke at some five in the morning
realizing the personal loss

Of 
those conversations that could never be had

with someone who would never understand

whether drunk or sober

heavy or light

angry or stable

left or right

in those tears of unwinding

And fierce cries in the night

From repressed visions

And liberated art shows for one man

whether plays of the sexes

or psychological unties

Boundaries we cross

Sounds of Breaking free

Sounds of Breaking time

Either way

She was never going to hear them again

so the mare stares at her old gateways
trying to decide

should she just run free alone

or go back to rails

and security

knowing those times and memories

will never be the forever

that set her free

he that opened her gate…man

he let her be
he set her free

then he left her alone
to tame her own fires

and be her own song

and she woke at some five in the morning
feeling that loss

and who would understand

except that type of woman

to that kind of man

and only the tears that cry for no reasons
running traces that burn

explanations that explain
but never learn

so the mare stares at her old gateways
trying to decide

whether to keep running

or to hide

Sometimes

Sometimes
when it hits me
the feeling or memory

like I could just call

or send you a line

write all incognito

and pretend that your mine

Sometimes

when I have a thought

or an idea

or if I’m just confused and mad at the world

and want my escape

sometimes

When things are going bad
or going good

changes are changes
as changes should

Sometimes

Are some times

When I just miss you

I miss the way it was
and the way it wasn’t

The way we were

and the way we pretended
with no pretenses

I miss your voice
and your face

I miss all I didn’t want to know

that made us us in our space

and sometimes baby

when I’m fully alive the way you showed me

I cry real tears in some real alive anger

I’m so mad at you for leaving

didn’t you think I would miss you

was there nothing you could have told me

on your way out to the stars

but sometimes

sometimes

across all that space and time

there is never going to be a place to far

and sometimes

I still hear
all that I miss
and feel
our breath like a kiss

and I’m doing my best
to keep my alive alive

sometimes

remembering some time

Butterfly-Blue

Pain

Waves come around

and push through my eyes

and in those times

those kinds of tears wont be denied

push through the corners

and my lids are forced open

hell I’ve been authentic and real

why stop now

and I stare at some superficial

and dramas about supposed hurt and pains

hurt feelings and entitled gains

and wonder about what it is in the world

that people think are so important
and oh I know

I know it will pass

but the passing seems a long way away

I’ll get through this and still stand

as we all must find our ways

through our losses

and our heart aches

but strangely there is no heart ache to say

just a missing

a missing that no one can explain

so I let the waves come

and give no explanations to those
who really couldn’t care less

like in the beginning with laughter

here in the end those tears are mine

and they need no reason

or rhyme for those

who will never know that kind of song

Thank You

To the man who heard my voice

and let me in his world

Thank you

For the late nights

talking about nothing but everything

and all those lines

all those lines in between

Thank You

In this world of definitions

about whats real or beneficial

baby you were real and beneficial to me

for all the involvement and authenticity

for saying your own thank you

when it wasn’t necessary

for all the grateful times

thank you
for letting me unwind

after small disasters in my life

thank you

for just letting me in
giving time sensitive advice

from a fully lived life

thank you

for the love and muchness

that was ours in our moments

thank you

for allowing this creative woman
to be creative
and act out in rare forms
outside the box

and outside the world

Thank you

for always thanking me for being me

Thank you
Thank you for being my friend
being a kind of lover
and being a man