Undressed

I’m so tired
here at the end of this year
this year of mourning

denied and repressed

until I cried alone

and alone I undressed

I’m so tired
the end of this year of failed starts
classes that were endured
in a high healing smoke
friends and family  that isolate me
in their righteous fist waving
look me in the face and call me those names

I guess the more we try to prove

the more we stay the same
becoming what we hate
and the hate just breeds more hate
and accuses the other of the same
and it just gets louder
until alone you cry
and alone you get dressed

and we can put on faces
and we can take up causes
but in that mirror of our anger

we still face the last laugh
in our sad but true nakedness

as we raise our righteous fists
and rot in our pride

and hang ourselves on our lies

I’m so tired
tired of these petty sins

that get shoved in our faces again and again

give me my pipe and my paper
and let me see my friends

take your arguments
for they will always be there

take your words that cut

because one day you’ll see the people in between the lines

take all the support only love could give

and then slap me with the time that remains

like some kind of retrograde

take all the support and use it like a soapbox

point your finger and preach
yes…because we become what we hate
and eventually hate what we become

and one day you will be alone

while you are coming undone

and I’m tired

at the end of the year of transitions
I didn’t even get to welcome the change
since all the anti shame warriors then felt the need to shame
so go get on your soap box and leave me be
hand me my pipe and free the weed

because in this circle the real life doers are still getting along

understanding life and love and peace

and we don’t put on faces
and we don’t take up causes
that mirror nothing but the oppressor

and we know who has the last laugh
on the last days of all of our age

when we mirror what we hated

when we face what we run from

when we undress
alone

 

 

 

 

 

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All the Time

I
Walked around and got my thoughts together
They say if you think too much
You lose sight of what’s in front of you
Maybe that was the point
At least that part about the truth
The feelings and miscalculations
The ones about me and you
So I sat down and had a few feelings
They got too loud
And rampant sends my soul reeling
They say if you don’t feel then it means you’re dead
I think it strange people who don’t feel
So they motion instead
Guess no one think that deep
Or feels too much
But I get it all the time
I get it all the time
I tell that boy wait for me
I’m gonna figure this out
I’m gonna compartmentalize
And not get too strung out
I tell that boy hold on but not too tight
Not when I’ve got to think
When I’ve gotta feel the words at night
He will always understand
They say that’s the best the best kind of man
Yeah I get it all the time
I get it all the time
And I sat down and had a think
Thinking about too much of the too much
And wonder what it all means
Some things don’t have answers
And the things that do
Just is a reasoned reason
about me and you
I’m a crazy woman
And I told you so
Tell me you get it
Maybe I’ll never go
Yeah maybe I’ll never go
Thought the feelings
And felt the thoughts
They say if you think too much
You must be running
Yeah I get it all the time
All the time and more of it
More so all the time