Privileged American Floors

Living constantly in a four walled room
that takes the same keys at all of it’s doors
see all our neighbors thru the windows
because nobody has decency anymore

and that same recipe calls for the two kinds of cake that everybody wants
so they can eat and have their food fight live

some eat with their hands

and some eat with their knives

and some just starve on their hamster wheels

quickly spinning blind

 

and me and all my neighbors

are Living on the grid of a hard wired hangover

and a stimulation high

of a sensitized extravagant soul

and zombified mind

wishing and hoping our cake gets its prize

and all the tenants run for the same door

but not till the shit gets tracked all over this

privileged American floor

we listen to music from paper mache singers
and we read stories about other zombies
and fall in love with vampires
and we think of Mao fondly

because we cant stand being alive
and the effort it takes to breathe
but we sure don’t want to die
and we clearly dont want to leave

our foreclosed house
funded by our virtual needs
and we keep watering
our rootless trees

and we just keep

Living constantly in a four walled room
that takes the same keys at all of it’s doors
and the curtains are waiting to be hung
because nobody has in decency anymore

and in our desperation we cant seem to get through those doors

without leaving shit on our privileged American floors

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

love song for God my creator

In my darker moments

it times of anxiety and despair

In my loneliness

exhausted anguish

My God remembers me

if He does with the birds

that land in the trees

So He does

He does with me

In the nights that get to quiet

when my soul cries for steadiness

unknown

My spirit reaches

the deep to the deep

Trust me

with your time

your gifts

your loves

your hopes dreams or just wish

the authorities

and darkness of this world

can never hold my kind of free

I sit in the hands of my creator

who has never forgotten me

The angers stirring their own kinds of war

shall not phase me

I take no part in Babylons whore

For I know who has made me

what He’s given me

and how He’s saved me

The chess pieces playing their turns

beckon for my hand

both sides revealing in part

while each player hides their own monsters

all players darkened in their hearts

shells of people

inhabited by what they’ve sold out for

Redefining their own creations

and natural rules about life

calling love and tolerance

what I call confusions and strife

distracting with talks about self made stars

and feelings and pseudo realities

Like I should be impressed..

But I’m a woman

human created by God
and

I’m no part of the game anymore

Resettling ,breathing in

My peace

My free

I trust my creator

with me

 
“do not fear what they fear, nor be in dread.”-Isaiah 8:12

Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.¬†Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”-Phillipians 4:5-9
psalm

 

 

Keep Your Alive

Taking time and time taking me

clinging so hard to what just wants to be free

knew I couldn’t hold on forever

but we’re never ready to let go

even when we say we are

even when we plan the parting

So I opened gifts given by associations

and sat in the shadows cast by memories

felt sparkles filling those hollows

like the feelings diamonds have

when the light hits their faces

That burning and life says

keep your alive, alive

keep your shine, shining

see that, see that

that power in you

that sparkle that sparkles

its so so sweet

where magic and intentions

something about being alive and just being meet.

Sitting in the leftover of eternal memory

Feeling the gifts that memories bring

hearing anecdotes and inflections

of voices and conversations

bringing at the right moments

lessons and times

that were yours and were mine

no matter what the explanations

no matter the write offs

or miscommunication

some things can’t be undone

and some things shouldn’t be

Remembering the sparkle

starts to shine in the void

like the feelings diamonds have

when the light hits their faces

That burning and life says

keep your alive, alive

keep your shine, shining

see that, see that

that power in you

that sparkle that sparkles

its so so sweet

it’s yours to keep

 

sparkle

Run

and She woke at some five in the morning
realizing the personal loss

Of 
those conversations that could never be had

with someone who would never understand

whether drunk or sober

heavy or light

angry or stable

left or right

in those tears of unwinding

And fierce cries in the night

From repressed visions

And liberated art shows for one man

whether plays of the sexes

or psychological unties

Boundaries we cross

Sounds of Breaking free

Sounds of Breaking time

Either way

She was never going to hear them again

so the mare stares at her old gateways
trying to decide

should she just run free alone

or go back to rails

and security

knowing those times and memories

will never be the forever

that set her free

he that opened her gate…man

he let her be
he set her free

then he left her alone
to tame her own fires

and be her own song

and she woke at some five in the morning
feeling that loss

and who would understand

except that type of woman

to that kind of man

and only the tears that cry for no reasons
running traces that burn

explanations that explain
but never learn

so the mare stares at her old gateways
trying to decide

whether to keep running

or to hide

Celebrate

Remembering the fire

Carrying it in my heart

long a song I wrote

and my baby sang with me

praying in my soul

getting some clarity

out of all that condensed time

that now stretches out like an accordion

breathing and out

hey man I know you

I’ve got you here close to me

said I would stay
stay till you wanted me to leave

I guess you never did
or you never did say

but how selfish of me
to want to keep you

in that safe and tired space

so now I breathe in the fire
and the words and the times and frames

keeping them in their remembered place

hey man I know you

you saw me through any pretense
and heard things no one else could

so I let that coyote run

let that butterfly fly away

let that star rise

those transitions that put tears on my face
and for once it’s okay

how could I try to keep

what has outgrown the frame

you and me

transitions must transist

and it’s all good

it is just what it is

so the moon is out after the sky has cried

and I hold my coyote’s butterfly

to my side

and smile for once

on the outside

celebrate my love

celebrating life

coyote

The banker mans been callin

and I don’t care

The bills are behind

I don’t care

and hey there is another shooting

and they are taking more of our money away

and I know I should

but I just don’t

call me apathetic

as I look at the overload

of all the senses

and I just shut down somewhere

somewhere

it happened so fast

I pray and pray

smile for the season

and play the role I play

but at the end of the day

come home to big mess

just a big mess and I look around and
I don’t care

people call and unload their many pains

and I listen and say things I’ve always said

look at my many books

taking up spaces and I’ve never read

finally understanding pyromaniacs
maybe one day they just didn’t care

I’m not angry

too much of that going around

I just dont care

 

 

burning water

Heard someone saying 

That They were real
But their real was just rude
Masking hollow faces
Angst and jest filled truths
All wrapped up in details
And projected strengths
Never knowing sometimes
 strength need not be seen
And we keep setting games
And circular rides
Of victims and blames
Self superiority entitled
Blinded by our own light
Arguments and lies
Disguising need with
I tried I tried I tried
Defeated in our own battle lines
Someone said they were real
What’s real these days
Still waters run deep
But tidal waves destroy
Either we are the show
Or the show we want to avoid
Someone being real
Real with no sincerity
Boiling and blowing steam
Just burning water
Burning water
And burning out the dream